I've never been outside the country. In fact, until March of 2009, I'd never been further east than Indiana. Okay, I've been to Victoria, Canada, but as most Americans would say, that really doesn't count. I'm sure most Canadians would object to being lumped in with ugly Americans, but really, it doesn't count as leaving the states if all you have to do is hop a ferry, and when you get there, the only significant difference is that they use a superior system of measurement, have a superior…