Last updated on Jul 10, 2024

Your team member is defensive after feedback. How can you navigate their emotions effectively?

Giving feedback is an essential part of people management, but it can sometimes lead to defensiveness in team members. This reaction is natural, as feedback can feel like a personal critique. However, as someone in a leadership position, it's crucial to navigate these emotions effectively to maintain a positive work environment and foster professional growth. By understanding the roots of defensiveness and employing strategies to mitigate it, you can turn potentially tense situations into opportunities for development and team cohesion.

1 Understand Why

When a team member reacts defensively to feedback, it's important to understand the underlying reasons. Defensiveness is often a protective mechanism triggered by perceived threats to one's self-esteem or professional identity. It could also stem from past experiences where feedback was delivered harshly or used punitively. By empathizing with these feelings, you can approach the situation with sensitivity and create a more receptive atmosphere for constructive dialogue.

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Folke Christoph Grigo

Director People & Culture at Everphone 📲♻️
Ich glaube es ist wichtig empathisch und geduldig zu sein wenn Teammitglieder auf Feedback defensiv reagieren. Das kann durch Unsicherheiten oder negative Erfahrungen begründet sein. Hier ist Einfühlungsvermögen von der Führungskraft gefragt was Verständnis und Vertrauen schafft. Eine respektvolle und unterstützende Kommunikation kann dazu beitragen, dass sich das Team sicher und wertgeschätzt fühlt.

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Bhagyesh Suthar

Team Lead | Six Sigma Green Belt | Building High-Performing Teams & Driving Efficiency
Not all dragons hoard for the same reason! Identify the cause of defensiveness. Take a step back and consider why your team member might be reacting defensively. Is it fear of inadequacy, a misunderstanding of the feedback, or a past negative experience? Understanding the root cause helps you approach the situation effectively. Imagine a negotiator analyzing the dragon's behavior to understand if it's protecting its young or its treasure (self-esteem).
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Ole Wisniewski

People, Culture and Organization
Einfühlungsvermögen und Empathie sind die Schlüssel, um den richtigen Zugang zu Personen zu finden und den passenden Ton zu treffen. Sollte es dennoch zu einer Abwehrhaltung kommen sind Verständnis und das geben von Raum extrem wichtig. Kein Druck, keine direktes Nachfragen. Abwarten und zu gegebener Zeit nochmal vorsichtig reinfühlen sind die best bets, um die Person zu erreichen und wieder zu connecten.

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✨Patrick Sobotta✨

Executive Managing Director Member of Business Development Committee Head of Central and Eastern Europe
Wenn ein Teammitglied nach Feedback defensiv reagiert, ist es wichtig, die zugrunde liegenden Gründe zu verstehen. Führen Sie ein ruhiges und einfühlsames Gespräch, um die Perspektive des Teammitglieds zu hören. Fragen Sie, warum das Feedback so empfunden wurde und welche Bedenken bestehen. Zeigen Sie Verständnis und Empathie, um Vertrauen aufzubauen. Manchmal resultiert Defensive aus Unsicherheiten oder Missverständnissen, die geklärt werden können. Indem Sie die Gründe hinter der Reaktion verstehen, können Sie gezielter und einfühlsamer unterstützen und helfen, emotionale Barrieren abzubauen und das Feedback konstruktiv zu nutzen.

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2 Create Safety

Creating a safe environment for feedback is crucial. This means establishing trust and ensuring that your team member knows that the feedback is intended to support their growth, not to criticize them personally. Use clear, objective language and focus on specific behaviors or outcomes rather than making general statements about their character or work ethic. When people feel secure, they're more likely to listen and consider the feedback without feeling the need to defend themselves.

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Bhagyesh Suthar

Team Lead | Six Sigma Green Belt | Building High-Performing Teams & Driving Efficiency
Don't barge into the dragon's cave yelling! Create a safe space for communication. Approach the conversation calmly and respectfully. Emphasize your desire to collaborate and support their growth. A safe space encourages open and honest communication. Imagine a negotiator entering the dragon's cave slowly, offering a respectful greeting and demonstrating peaceful intentions.
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✨Patrick Sobotta✨

Executive Managing Director Member of Business Development Committee Head of Central and Eastern Europe
Beginnen Sie Feedback-Gespräche mit positiven Bemerkungen und betonen Sie die Stärken des Teammitglieds. Erklären Sie klar und einfühlsam die Gründe für das Feedback und wie es zur Verbesserung beitragen kann. Seien Sie offen für Fragen und bieten Sie Unterstützung an. Schaffen Sie eine Atmosphäre des Vertrauens, in der Fehler als Lernchancen gesehen werden.

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3 Be Specific

Specificity in feedback is key to preventing defensiveness. Vague comments can lead to misunderstandings and feelings of being unjustly criticized. Instead, provide clear examples of the behavior you're addressing and explain how it affects the team or project. This clarity helps the team member understand the context and the importance of the feedback, making them more likely to accept and act on it.

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Rozilene Camilo

Analista de Recrutamento e Seleção| MBA em Gestão de Pessoas| Especialização em pedagogia organizacional
- Trazer exemplos práticos durante o Feedback é essencial. -Não se basear no “eu acho que… eu sinto que….” e sim em situações reais. -Não se basear na percepção dos outros Avaliar se é o momento de dar este feedback para que não gere um impacto negativo.

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Bhagyesh Suthar

Team Lead | Six Sigma Green Belt | Building High-Performing Teams & Driving Efficiency
Don't just yell "Bad dragon!" Provide specific and actionable feedback. Focus on specific behaviors or areas for improvement, and offer suggestions for moving forward. Avoid vague accusations or personal attacks. Imagine a negotiator explaining to the dragon that the artifact can be shared and offering alternative treasures the dragon might find valuable (improvement areas).
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4 Listen Actively

Active listening is a powerful tool in managing defensive reactions. After giving feedback, give your team member the opportunity to express their perspective. Listen attentively without interrupting or dismissing their feelings. This demonstrates respect for their viewpoint and shows that you value them as part of the team. Through active listening, you can often uncover additional context that can help in resolving the issue.

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Bhagyesh Suthar

Team Lead | Six Sigma Green Belt | Building High-Performing Teams & Driving Efficiency
Don't interrupt the dragon's fiery rant! Practice active listening. Give your team member time to express their feelings and concerns. Ask clarifying questions and demonstrate genuine interest in their perspective. Active listening fosters empathy and reduces defensiveness. Imagine a negotiator patiently listening to the dragon's reasons for guarding the treasure, allowing them to vent their frustrations.
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5 Offer Support

Offering support is essential when dealing with defensiveness. After discussing the areas for improvement, provide resources or guidance on how they can enhance their performance. This could include training opportunities, mentorship, or a clear action plan. When team members see that you are invested in their success, they are more likely to view feedback as a positive step towards their personal and professional development.

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Bhagyesh Suthar

Team Lead | Six Sigma Green Belt | Building High-Performing Teams & Driving Efficiency
Don't leave the dragon empty-handed! Show support and offer resources. Let your team member know you believe in their ability to improve. Offer additional training, resources, or mentorship opportunities. Support demonstrates your commitment to their success. Imagine a negotiator offering the dragon a new, beautiful gem (resources) in exchange for sharing the artifact.
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6 Follow Up

Finally, following up after giving feedback can help alleviate defensiveness. Schedule a time to revisit the discussion and assess progress. This shows your commitment to their growth and ensures that the feedback doesn't feel like a one-off criticism but rather an ongoing conversation aimed at continuous improvement. Regular check-ins also provide an opportunity to recognize improvements, reinforcing the positive aspects of feedback.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Your team member is defensive after feedback. How can you navigate their emotions effectively?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Understand Why

2 Create Safety

3 Be Specific

4 Listen Actively

5 Offer Support

6 Follow Up

7 Here’s what else to consider

People Management

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Your team member is defensive after feedback. How can you navigate their emotions effectively?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Understand Why

2 Create Safety

3 Be Specific

4 Listen Actively

5 Offer Support

6 Follow Up

7 Here’s what else to consider

People Management

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